Monday 11/17/14

This week’s Monday Morning Bible Breakdown is on the first reading from last night: Proverbs 31:10-13, 19-20, 30-31.

When one finds a worthy wife,
her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband, entrusting his heart to her,
has an unfailing prize.
She brings him good, and not evil,
all the days of her life.
She obtains wool and flax
and works with loving hands.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her fingers ply the spindle.
She reaches out her hands to the poor,
and extends her arms to the needy.
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting;
the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her a reward for her labors,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

The Book of Proverbs is a really interesting book of the Bible. It is one of the Wisdom books, and it was written during the reign of King Solomon. Israel had only recently become a kingdom and it was becoming apparent that there was a need for diplomats to visit other countries to negotiate treaties, encourage friendly relations, and foster trade alliances. The Wisdom literature was written as a sort of instruction manual for these new fledgling diplomats. The Book of Proverbs is a list of all the sorts of instructions that Solomon wanted his diplomats to know and practice. Think of it like a collection of all the things that parents want to hand down to their kids before they go out into the world. Today it might include things like: always try your best, quitters never win, dress for success, and other common sayings. I always like to read the book of proverbs and ask myself what values were important to the ancient Israelites that aren’t very important to popular American culture now, or what sorts of values have emerged in popular culture that would have been foreign to Solomon’s kingdom. For example, in Solomon’s Israel, it was not unusual for a man to have as many wives as he could financially support and provide for. According to the Bible, Solomon himself had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Talk about values which have changed!

As Solomon’s many wives might suggest, the institution of marriage was very different in the ancient Middle East. Marriage was not about love. If a man discovered one day that he loved his spouse, it was seen as a happy accident. Instead, marriage was a complicated social and political contract. A marriage was a way of consolidating wealth and joining two families together. Arranged marriages were not uncommon, and often husbands and wives did not meet until their wedding day. Not every marriage was arranged, though, and for those lucky men who would be choosing their own wives, King Solomon had some words of wisdom.

First, he stresses the value of selecting a good wife or wives. There was a very specific division of labor in ancient Israel. Husbands and wives were partners in the truest sense of the word. The work of the man was to provide for the family financially. Women had their own labor. If the family could not afford servants, the women of the family would cook and clean and perform other domestic duties. If a family were fortunate enough to have servants to take care of those tasks (as many diplomatic families would) wives would spend their days spinning yarn and weaving fabric. They were also responsible for entertaining guests at parties and dinners.

The real “meat” of the passage is toward the end. Solomon instructs his would-be statesmen that “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Now the reader knows how to choose his bride. Charm and beauty, while nice, are not the things upon which successful marriages are built. Why not? Look at the passage. When a person is charming, it is often difficult to tell if they are being honest or simply trying to charm you. It is a form of deception in which the deceived becomes a willing participant. A person who is charming may convince you that they can make you much happier than they actually can. Beauty, too, is not a strong basis for a relationship. Hopefully your spouse will grow old with you. When they do, physical beauty often fades. What is left is inner beauty. What is inner beauty? Solomon says that it is fear of the Lord.

The last lines tell the reader what to do once he has secured himself a good wife. He should reward her hard work and praise her publicly. He should treat her well. After all, she is precious, and she is treating him well.

Even though our culture is very different from that of ancient Israel, much of the advice is still valuable. The value of a good partner cannot be overstated. Lasting relationships need to be built on more than charm and outer beauty. A partner who loves God is a wonderful gift.